I failed.

But it wasn't 100% my fault!

I know what you're thinking: "OK Garridan. You just randomly typed in Men.com without knowing that it was a porn site, and you just happened up on the play button? Likely story."

And that's exactly how it happened. 

Jokes aside, this is what happened.

Over the weekend, I took a trip to Texas to visit. An old fuck bud got word, and he decided to come to my hotel to see me. As we were making plans to meet and a time to see each other, I got this text message:

He gets a little excited, and likes to go the whole nine yards with sex, with porn, tons of poppers, and some toys. So when he asked about porn on the iPad, I should have said no. I should have denied him. But...my answer?

In my defense, I had just done my first workout in two months, so I was feeling loopy. I was also running late and trying to rush to get ready for him. But I know what you're thinking:

Garridan. You had ONE job. And you failed. You failed miserably. I'm very disappointed in you.

I know. I'm very disappointed in myself. I should have said "No, friend. I'm taking a break from watching porn in the month of February. I'm trying to get right with the porn lord. If this were March 1, yes. Since it isn't? No.

So we watched porn. 

He's into interracial, and had already queued up a scene of Tate Ryder getting fucked by the pool by a huge BBC. (BTW, the scene has a pretty hilarious blooper, where Tate is getting fucked so hard, he loses his balance and falls into the pool.)

The sex was also good - he was excited to see me and hadn't had any since the last time we met, at the end of last year.

When I look back at last month, I didn't make it the full 31 days with my detox diet - I made it 29. I made it 27 days without watching porn to get off. 

Maybe a month is too long for a detox plan. Maybe the saying "it takes 21 days to break or start a new habit" is on to something.

Or maybe I've been too ambitious in my plans for detox, and in my next one, I should account for margin of error.

Either way:

I tried so hard, and got so far. But in the end? It doesn't even matterrrrrr...