That 1950’s James Dean Masturbation Photo is up for Auction

James Dean and his hand, sitting in a tree, M.A.S.T.U.R.B.A.T.I.N.G.?

Something I've noticed about middle aged gay men is that they always have classy pictures of naked dudes in their homes. They're everywhere! Dishtowels with cartoons of bottomless men wearing aprons, a dick on the armoire, Bacchus coasters, an artful limited edition black and while ball sac print, a bush here, an ass there, nude men are everywhere!

I need to start amassing my collection now if I want to be even a semi-respectable daddy someday, which is why I'm eyeing this infamous print of James Dean sitting naked in a tree grabbing his dick. I really want to make my house guests stop and think. What was he doing in that tree? Was he actually masturbating, or just posing? And most importantly, after he climbed down, did James mount Elizabeth Taylor, William Bast, or both? 

Celebrity Sleuth has a ton of vintage pics of nude men that are going up for auction on December 5th - just in time for stocking stuffers! Although I want this conversation piece framed above my mantle someday, something tells me a super sophisticated rich gay is going to nab it to shove it in his friends' faces. "IT'S AN ORIGINAL." Since I'm not really feeling the frontal situation here, except for that luscious bush of course, I'm instead drawn to the graceful grundle / ass crack shot that this unique perspective affords. Here's the brief story accompanying the pic: Via Celebrity Sleuth

Upon meeting Irish McCalla, the star of the TV series 'Sheena, Queen of the Jungle,' at his Hollywood hangout 'Googies,' Dean told her: 'I'm going to come swing in your tree.' To which Irish replied: 'That's fine - I've got a lot of slack in my vines. 

"I've got a lot of slack in my vines?" WTF does that mean? Anyway, let the bidding begin!