Behold, The Final Men.com Autoblow/Shakespeare Mash-Up

Alright, so here it is... the final video from Men.com where they force one of their models to read Shakespeare while using an Autoblow 2. First Colby Jansen gave it the old college try, and then Bennett Anthony did one as well. Now it's Paul Canon's turn. Can he finally convince us that porn stars are able to perform Shakespeare? 

Poor Paul stumbles right out of the gate while attempting Romeo's famous Act 2 Sc. 2 soliloquy saying, "He jets at scars that never felt a wound." Anyone, even someone with the text right in front of them, should know that "jests" and "jets" are not, in fact, pronounced the same way, but I digress...

He rebounds almost immediately, giving a dramatic look to the sky before launching into the soliloquy, knowing that, at the very least, he's on the ground looking up at Juliet. Well done. Then it's back to stumble town, including what is obviously a cut between "kill the envious moon" and "who is already sick and pale with grief." Does that mean they do more than one take? Did they stop and zoom out? What happened there? We'll likely never know.

The hits just keep on coming, when not two lines later, he stops reading altogether and when he picks up again, re-reads the same line and says, "Oh, I already read that." It pains me to say this, but if this was a test that Men.com was conducting to see if they had anyone in their stable who could convincingly perform Shakespeare in some sort of Elizabethan porn, it has failed considerably. It's a good thing these guys are good at orgasm face as it's far and away the most believable part of any of these videos. 

Via Men.com on YouTube