Liam Payne's Pubes Escape From Sweatpants Following Lost Underwear Saga

Very important news here.

According to the Daily Mail, Liam Payne stepped out onto his hotel balcony in Australia today. If you know anything about the sexiest member of One Direction and/or hotel balconies, you know that a mixture of the two often yields erotic results. Some of the greatest Liam Payne bulge and chest shots have come from hotel balconies. Without them, we may not have ever known the approximate shape and size of Liam Payne's schlong (or Zac Efron's, for that matter).

Below, the first photos of the jungle where Liam Payne keeps his python:

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Liam's pubes are creeping out of these dangerously low sweatpants because his underwear has gone missing. They were allegedly stolen by a rabid female fan, now known as the Luckiest Bitch On Earth:

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Why were his Calvin Klein boxer briefs on the balcony? They were soaked because his huge cock was uncontrollably shooting ropes of jizz inside them while a male suitor slammed him from behind for five hours he went for a ride on Louis Tomlinson's dick in the shower surfing.

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Tagged in: underwear, surfing, louis tomlinson, liam payne, one direction, pubes, celebrity skin, shirtless

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