The Greatest Things About Max Ryder’s Scene with The Kinky Angels Are The Kinky Angels

December 24, 2012
BRADFORD-MATTHEWS

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'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for five European whores and an American pass-around party bottom. And by stirring, we mean hardcore fucking.

As if Max Ryder were some kind of Christmas present more important than Adam Archuleta's Pin Up photoshoot, Bel Ami teased Max's scene with the Kinky Angels four whole months ago, promising it would be one for the history books. We have to admit that we're still excited to finally see the finished product, but it's not giving us heart palpitations like we expected.

You're just going to have to accept the fact that Max usually lets his scene partners do all the work. It's crazy how someone with an incredibly large and cult-like fanbase manages to be somewhat famous without many qualifying skills—we're fine with his lackluster bottoming scenes at other studios, but watching him drowsily rock around and wiggle his flaccid dick with the Bel Ami boys is just shameful. If it weren't for his pretty face and flat stomach, he could have just as easily been replaced by an inflatable doll with an attitude.

There's something to be said about the way sex is approached by (most) European men and (too many) American boys. For the most part, European pornstars have little or no inhibitions, and the passion they exude—whether it be real or staged—is exactly the kind of attitude consumers are looking for; after all, you're a fucking pornstar, not a celebrity with a sex tape. There's a divide when it comes to American pornstars, though, many of whom carry a sense of entitlement that often makes them look tired, bored or rude when filming. If you're going to pair an American boy with four European studs, make sure he can keep up the pace and completely ravage his Euro counterparts. (Isn't that the point?)

The Kinky Angels + Max Ryder should have been a flawless machine that produced fine results, but it feels like someone has thrown a wrench in the machine. The wrench, in this case, is this different sexual approach, and we're sad to see another American/European mashup get lost in translation.

See, Bel Ami? We told you that throwing American boys into the mix could potentially be a disaster. You're brining back Lukas Ridgeston and Mick Lovell—isn't that enough?