2013 Will Be the Year of Dale Cooper

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If you're not already on the Dale Cooper bandwagon, you have about five minutes to shape up before you're the last one left standing with your pants around your ankles. In just a few short months, he's worked his way out of obscurity and into the mainstream limelight with only a few scenes for some pretty exceptional studios. It's not just his insane body or that deep, crooning voice that are making people weak in the knees—this studly, intellectual hipster also has a great head on his shoulders (and probably a master plan to take over the gay porn industry.)

We don't know much about what to expect in 2013, but we do know one thing: 2013 will be the year of Dale Cooper.

Forget what your "ideal man" is; a quick tour through Dale's most recent work will raise your standards and have you yearning for a date with him instead of a one night stand. Your current favorite pornstar pales in comparison, and here's our proof:

CockyBoys - Dale Cooper's Solo in The Haunting: Part II

He's beautiful. Hot, sexy, charming, cute, adorable, stunning, gorgeous, handsome; call him whatever you'd like, because there's no denying the fact that Dale Cooper has one of the sickest and most unique bodies in the industry today. CockyBoys captured it best in a solo jerkoff scene as part of The Haunting: Part II (which debuted yesterday), and in a series of tight, lingering shots, no inch of Dale's body is left to the imagination. From his long dick to that handlebar mustache, watching Dale slowly rub one out will make you want to fuck him and be him at the same time.

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This, ladyboys and gentlemen, is the body you've always wanted to have. And best of all, it doesn't belong to a hot-headed douchebag.

· Watch Dale in The Haunting: Part II at CockyBoys (CockyBoys.com)

Lucas Entertainment - Dale Cooper fucks Hunter Page

He's masculine. Whoever said hipsters were fragile, weak beings clearly needs to watch dominant Dale and revise their statement. It doesn't take a genius to recognize Dale's overt masculinity, but watching him rob the cradle in his debut for Lucas Entertainment will assert it beyond the shadow of a doubt. Even though Dale and Hunter are technically both newbies here, there's a certain skill set Hunter lacks (probably because he's only 18) that forces Dale to do a lot of the heavy lifting. Fixing Hunter's arm placement, rolling him up into different positions and methodically pounding his asshole even though Dale probably wasn't really attracted to him are all signs of a true star.

He may look like a little man, but Dale's muscles pack a huge punch, and it doesn't take much for this man's man to become a rough, dominant (yet caring) top.

· Watch Dale fuck Hunter Page in his Lucas Entertainment debut (LucasEntertainment.com)

Raging Stallion - Dale Cooper and Parker Wright flip fuck

He's versatile. Like, for real. Many pornstars claim to be versatile, but we hold versatility to a pretty high standard. Anyone can fuck a hole or take a dick up the ass, but it takes a truly versatile star (or a damn fine actor) to fully enjoy the experience. (Ahem, pornstars; we know when you're faking it.)

You'll learn more about Dale's versatility with the CockyBoys video below, but to see it in action, you'll need to prepare yourself for the magnificent fuck he delivered in Raging Stallion's recent blockbuster, The Woods. Playing a rugged mountain hiker overwhelmed by a desire to fuck everyone, Dale fucks and gets fucked with the wind on his taint in the great outdoors. He's a more-than-convincing top that knows just what a bottom likes, but that's only because he doubles as a fantastic bottom. When he opens his legs in a perfect split to get nailed by Parker Wright, you're going to have trouble figuring out what his real life preference is.

Come to think of it, Dale may not have a "real life" preference. We wouldn't be surprised if he had an existential reason for claiming to be equally top and bottom, enjoying label-less sex because it's inherently beautiful.

· Watch Dale and Parker Wright flip fuck in Raging Stallion's The Woods (RagingStallion.com)

CockyBoys - Introducing Dale Cooper

He's the whole package. Sure, he's an excellent pornstar, but that's not what makes 2013 the year of Dale Cooper. The man that captures our affection must be the complete package on and offscreen, and though spending a few hours combing through his awesome personal blog will do the trick, his solo debut jerkoff video for CockyBoys combines all his perfect qualities in one of the classiest and worthwhile solo videos we've ever seen. Ever. Period.

CockyBoys has done something really fantastic with this video that we've never seen before. Instead of an awkward interview that leads to solo jerking, Dale openly gives his interview while lubing up and stroking his glistening shaft. When asked standard first-time interview questions like "what's your favorite position?" and "how do you like to bottom?", he physically shows us, maneuvering his nude body around the room and into different positions while providing intellectual conversation along the way. And god, that voice. That voice could cure world hunger.

Dale ends the video with a dildo up his ass (and damn, he can take a big dick), a Fleshjack on his cock, and a huge smile. Colby Keller, eat your heart out!

·Check out Dale's debut video for CockyBoys (CockyBoys.com)

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