Hey, producers of forgotten shitty Broadway mind-killer “Spider-man: Turn Off the Dark!” Now that your actors aren’t cracking their spines falling from the skies, don’t you need to turn another trick to drum up publicity and draw in suckers audiences? Idea! Have your actors strip and finger their asses onstage! Your chorus boy Adam Roberts has his audition photos ready.
Adam is a Broadway actor fantasy. Tall, gorgeous and amazingly fit, he’s the type of chorus boy we’d love to fuck.
The hottie currently flies high over audiences as the Green Goblin stunt double along with other roles, all while wearing gargantuan costumes that completely cover his insanely ripped body. If he fell into our laps mid-show, no frickin’ complaints here!
Guess the dude is sick of hiding his bod, because he took these randy naked photos of himself with his fingers shoved up his ass. They made their way onto infamous jilted lover revenge site IsAnyoneUp.com, and the hoary joke still stands: after these pics, yes, we’re definitely up!
The stuntman has nothing to be ashamed about. His meaty bits and pieces could command the stage. After this photo set spreads around, he’ll easily be the star attraction at next summer’s infamously naughty Broadway Bares show.
The “Spiderman” producers better listen up. With a show as relentlessly trashy as theirs, here’s an easy fix: work in a striptease for Adam Roberts. With all the eye-gouging nonsense already happening onstage, give audiences this one moment of pure, untouched beauty.
The striptease must be done in complete silence. We want to be conscious as we watch, instead of being further asphyxiated by Bono’s musical garbage.
This photo is not Adam Roberts or anyone in the “Spiderman” cast. Let’s call this our one-photo mood board if we ever get our hands on the show.
· Adam Roberts from The Spider-Man Musical the Broadway show (isanyoneup.com)
