The Best Masturbation Technique You’ll See This Year

October 13, 2011
CEDRIC-DEWITTISON

What do you get when you cross a Fleshjack, a suction cup dildo, and 23-year-old Brazilian horndog named Lucas Fox who has the insatiable desire to be porked from both ends like a pig on a spit, yet is alone at home? You get the best way to masturbate we've seen this year...maybe ever!

We've gotta tip our hard-ons to the gang at Manhunt Daily for discovering this wonder from Badpuppy.com. Lucas Fox suctions his dildo onto any smooth surface he can find, sits on it, then, while fucking his own ass, takes a Fleshjack and milks his cock dry.

He's a genius! Personally, we'd prefer the penis-pleasing Tenga Flip over the Fleshjack, but everyone has the right to vary their jerk-off techniques. The important thing is, good God, why hasn't this been thought of before? It's so simple, elegant, and sexy as fuck.

All those hours spent on Adam4Adam trying to arrange that threesome to get double-stuffed? A thing of the past. This is Jerking Off 4.0. The future of masturbation. Tomorrow as seen through your cock and ass. There is no time to waste. We are lining up at our local sex shop to get that suction cup dildo and test this groundbreaking technology. Bye!