Question: Are Guidos Hot?

We are currently obsessed with the MTV eight-car pile up known as Jersey Shore. The guys are ripped, tanned, and tattooed, things we usually love. But are they hot? Seriously: one wants to do porn. Will you watch?

There have to be guido fetishists out there, and this show about eight guidos (four guys and four girls) living in a house at the shore must be a boon to them. The guys are all very built and have their shirts off as often as possible—usually while trying to give some girl in a hot tub an STD. One of them, DJ Paulie D said he’d pose nude for Playgirl. Would you buy it? Let’s take a look at some pictures and see what you think.

This is Mike “The Situation” with DJ Paulie D, the one who wants to do Playgirl. What do you think? The bodies are great, but the Ed Hardy swimwear? Egad! And even if they took it all off, they’d still have that hair.

Paulie also has a back full of tattoos, and he even has one that says Cadillac running down his side. If he was in porn, we would definitely be picking on that bad tattoo here at Fleshbot. Oh, and did we mention he revealed that he has a pierced penis?

This is Mike “The Situation.” He calls his tight abs “The Situation” and thereby he himself is “The Situation.” He likes to refer to himself in the third person. We would love to run our hands along those abs, but to get down to his underwear and find they have an A/X label might make us horrified.

This is Ronnie. He is hot. He is gigantic and macho and we totally want to bang him. And then he opens his mouth and says idiotic things and laughs like a constipated hyena. Then our wood is killed.

Here’s all four boys. What do you think? Gang bang, or mass execution? Let us know in the comments.

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  • Anonymous

    Ed here, from Queens, NY – have lived here and been exposed to Guidos my whole life – and gotta say, Guidos may be sad and/or laughable, but they are also almost always hot!

  • rodsteel

    i haven’t seen the show, but now i have to watch … they have my vote for hot and can gang bang me anytime

  • Anonymous

    Short answer: they can be.

    I think attraction to guidos is similar to when straight guys attracted to trashy skanks. The fact that dirty whores can make a living proves there’s a market for tastes that whilst socially unacceptable are just as pronounced as any other attraction.

  • Anonymous

    Honestly guys, have you EVER walked past a well built man and NOT thougth he was hot…even a little bit?

  • GayhawkAZ

    Okay, Mr. “Situation” is a cretin. Paulie needs his head examined for getting all the tattoos. The other two, if they could just keep their mouths shut…I think they would be okay.

  • thesmokingnun

    #burningquestions isn’t the appropriate hashtag for this as much as #burningsensations is