They Just Don’t Make Them Like They Used To

July 31, 2009
BRIAN-O-BRIEN

The first part of Randy Blue's hotly-anticipated "That '70s Gay Porn Movie" went live yesterday and it has us wishing for yesteryear. Not because of the retro fashions, but because this is the way great porn used to be made.

In this tale about four pledges trying to make it into the DIK fraternity and the four brothers that make their lives hell, the Randy Blue team employs the sets, costumes, plot, and dialogue that used to be standard issue for skin flicks. Nowadays you often get just a series of loosely-connected vignettes in boring IKEA surroundings. However, what this production has in no short supply is wit. Yes, it's silly and over-the-top, but that's what makes it such a treat to watch. The only thing serious about sex should be the pleasure it gives you!

Everything here is spot on, from the cheesy dialogue to the little '70s sitcom ditty that transitions the scenes. Of course, the 20 minutes of plot might be a lot for some people to sit through, but for those who don't fast forward, you're in for a treat.

In this section, Mike West plays one of the pledges who has to put a dildo on the chair of a hunky professor, played by Leo Giamani in a tragically delicious fake mustache. Of course, you can only imagine what happens when West gets caught.

In the second bit of hardcore action, Christian Sharp, as Brock Wopat the hero of our tale, desperately wants to get into DIK, the fraternity his grandfather founded. Evil frat prez Xander Scott is standing in his way. What kind of hazing do you think is going to be involved? Yup, you guessed it right.

While the sex is what you'll be wanking too, the real reason to tune in is the attention that is paid to every detail. Nothing here looks extravagant, but that the Randy Blue team took the time to write up scenes, find period clothes, put together a bunch of different sets, and school the actors into how to, you know, act, shows that they are making something a little more special than just a fuck scene.

· That '70s Gay Porn Movie (randyblue.com)