Hey! You’ve Got Your Foreskin In My Braces!

December 17, 2008
GRAM-PONANTE

I know what you're saying: "Gram, Gawker Media actually has gay professionals to cover the fabulouser side of sex culture." While that is undoubtedly true, what appealed to me was the Brazilian orthodontics.

But I'll admit that I was curious to see what went on between Rio de Janeiro couple-for-pay Allen and Bruno. Would their love survive despite one's circumcision and the other's uncuttitude? The answer, my friends, is Yes. Did I initially look away when Allan fellated the inside of Bruno's foreskin? Yes. But it was not because I am afraid of new things; it was because Bruno's penis looked like the dervishy windsock at my local Jeep/Chrysler dealer.

That's right: "Dervishy windsock." Don't say I can't talk like you.

Three other dreamy Portuguese-speaking couples peel the caps back in this product, but only coverboy Allan has the metal mouth. If that's not what you're there for, I'm sure the sight of seven glabrous Brazilians cavorting bareback will do the trick.

In sociopornological terms, this title is a nichebuster. Not only do we have hairless Brazilian twinks, but we also have foreskins and braces. I'd say, "Finally a porn that really looks like America," but, you know, it's Brazilian.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS MOVIE: The practice of inserting a penis—even a Brazilian one—into another's foreskin is called "docking." Also, it is no surprise that we had to go to Brazil for a bareback movie. That sort of thing is frowned on here. Know what else is frowned on? Cockblock double-docking, which is when two other guys put their penises into the foreskin of the guy you had your eyes on.