Photos Prove That Mark Wahlberg Doesn’t Have A Pot To Piss In

These days, the only thing Mark Wahlberg has going for him is that funny skit about him talking to animals that runs on "Saturday Night Live." But while we're waiting for his next movie to come out—you know,the one where he stars as a professional jet ski racer—at least we can watch the hunk engage in some watersports on the streets of LA. Sadly, we're pretty sure that these pictures of Mark Wahlberg are better than his last three movies combined. No wait—actually, they're illustrating what we wanted to do to all of "The Happening." God bless the paparazzi for catching him midstream—and god bless the modern media for making these photos available to every gay guy who's ever fantasized about having the Calvin Klein model empty his bladder on them and then say, "Say hi to your mother for me." Maybe we should put a yellow hanky in that left pocket, Mr. Wahlberg.

· When Nature Calls Mark Wahlberg, He Answers (popsugar.com)