That Costume Better Not Be Rented

Spiderman and the guys who jerk off on XTube have a lot in common: they both use fake names, you never see their faces, and they both shoot sticky white stuff out of their hands while selflessly doing something that helps out random strangers. So, this is what happens when you get Spidey to rub one out for the general public. He gets bonus points for ingeniously figuring out how to get off without getting out of his costume. In our fantasies, this is Jake Gyllenhaal's audition tape to take over the movie franchise when they almost fired Tobey Maguire for a hot second. Oh, we can dream...

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· Spiderman Having Fun (xtube.com)