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    By Dashiell Bennett, 9:55 AM on Mon Jul 14 2008, 2,167 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

    Forget the pump: Penis Enlargement Pants will stretch your wang so far, you'll need new pants! They're only available on eBay, but that quality German engineering means you can feel good wrapping them around your privates. Well, sort of good. (ebay.com, via random-good-stuff.com)

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