November 27, 2007 | 22 Comments

Poll: Where Do You Stash Your Porn?

2007_11_27_hide2.jpgOur recent commenting upsurge (thanks to all who have spoken up, by the way; well, almost all) has helped remind us of the one thing that unites porn connoisseurs everywhere—shame. For all the talk about “going mainstream” people who watch and enjoy erotic entertainment are still made to feel that its wrong to do so and, at the very least, it should be kept hidden away from polite society. Sure, you can buy it, but don’t let anyone else know that you have it.

Anyone who has ever owned so much as a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue or International Male catalog has probably gone to some lengths to hide their perverted wares from friends and loved ones. But how? Where’s the best place to keep your spank mags and video tapes away from snoops, while still being able to get at it when the mood strikes? Or do you prefer to show off your hard-earned collection to anyone who knocks on your door? (It does make a great icebreaker!) Now that we’ve got you out of your shell, maybe you’d can share your thoughts and get this important issue out into the open where it belongs.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

2007_11_27_hide3.jpg· Men and their Porn – Hide and Seek (laist.com)
· Bodega porn corner (vox.com)

Previously: Fleshbot Commenters: Strength in Shame, Fleshbot Comments: Stalking Made Easy

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Author:Dashiell

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  • Conrad

    It wouldn’t be appropriate for someone sex positive to hide sex in their own home. Besides, my friends expect it from me.

  • Truegod

    I share my house with others who don’t want to randomly find my porn. Most of it is stashed away (in an external hard drive totally decided to debauchery or in a locked unlabeled filling cabinet). But I also have the latest issue of playboy mixed with my other magazines and erotic sitting with my other night time reading. I don’t hide most of my stuff out of shame, more out of respect for the others living in my house.

  • Anonymous

    Ours lives in a dedicated chest of drawers in one of the closets. We have a 5 year old running around here, so it stays locked.

    It holds toys, mags (does anyone even look at mags anymore?), dvd’s, and toys.

    hmm I said toys twice.

  • Guest

    @captaincubicle: What of the collection that predates digital? I’ve got few items of yore that are proudly displayed on my video shelves, if only for their kitsch value. Toys stay hidden in the nightstand, though. They’re not display-quality, unfortunately.

  • Anonymous

    Hidden Files = Man’s Best Friend

  • Anonymous

    All over my computer in folders with names like “My Shameful Dirt”, and there’s a spindle of DVDs floating about (cases and slipcovers get binned). I keep finding it in weird places though, and when a young lady came “visiting” recently she was rummaging around in my CDs for something to put on and found a Jana Cova flick. Oops.

  • Tracer_Bullet

    Until my daughter was born, the smut was everywhere. On the
    computer, the night stand, among the DVDs, in the comic book boxes. I
    keep everything above kid level and hide the filthiest stuff from the
    wife, but otherwise, I’m a grown man in my own damn house. I’ll keep
    the porn where I want it. Never know when you’ll have to jerk off
    suddenly.

  • naughtyduncan

    I keep mine on a separate hardrive that’s dedicated to porn. Not really ashamed of it mind you, I just don’t have the space on my machine.

    You didn’t ask about toys, but I’m going to give you an answer anyway. Back of the closet in several shoe boxes.

  • maryrules

    It’s cleverly hidden in a folder called “pr0n” on my external hard drive. No one will ever think to look for it there!

  • Anonymous

    @smoltz: Hidden files are ok, but [www.truecrypt.org] is the real way to go. At least for real top secret stuff, like your own homemade porn.

  • Lux Alptraum

    I also have a butt plug on my window sill.

  • Arch Noble

    Shouldn’t magazine (hard-copies) be part of everyone’s emergency kit? Computers can crash, blackouts can roll; what will you do then?

    I’ve my magazines in plastic wrap, in an old shoe-box, under the bed. The shame isn’t that it’s gay porn, it’s that the mags themselves are so generically vanilla.

  • Anonymous

    A few issues of BODacious and XL Girls under the bed and nearby cabinet and almost 1.5 gigs of photos on my iMac under a folder named “Spank Bank”. That’s actually a misnomer, as I don’t use it that way (it merely fuels my imagination). I’m thinking of calling it my “pornfolio” (thanks, Urban Dictionary!).
    I keep telling myself that it’s illustration reference, but it never gets used that way. *sigh*

  • Anonymous

    I keep my stuff in the headboard – it has pull-down fronts, so I can keep it stashed and still be able to show off my ridiculously large collection of vibrators to a visiting friend for the shock value.

    There’s a bunch of stuff out now from companies like For Your Nymphomation and DevineToys for the (locking!) storage of toys proper….I heard rumors of a (now defunct?) company called blue icon who had a 12-DVD case with a built in lock, shaped sort of like an ottoman. I desperately wanted it, but the company went poof. :(

  • narymary

    I just have stuff either on my computer or burned to DVD. Who needs all those bulky, wasteful boxes?

  • Anonymous

    personally I’m surprised that anyone nowadays has hardcopy porn.

  • Brian47

    I purchase all my porn on DVD, preferring this over storing files on my computer, and keep the individual discs in one of those flip-books normally used for CD’s. The DVD cover art (another advantage over downloading online – attractive packaging) is removed from the case and also stored in the flip-book sleeves. And then this flip-book is stored in a cabinet under the television. My wife knows its there, but has no interest in rummaging through it.

  • shamama

    zOMG — my stuffed Grimace watches over my stash, too. What are the chances?

  • Charles_Barrett – Now with Variable-Valve Timing

    The seats in front of our desktop PCs are not conducive to self-pleasuring, so my partner Randy (18+ years together) and I prefer to watch porn DVDs on the TV in the bedroom or the living. I review gay/bi porn, and have an abundance of screeners, many of which reside in the living room entertainment unit, along with the older VHS stuff. Ditto for the master bedroom, in a bookshelf and a wide dresser drawer. Slick mags are stacked on a shelf in the master bath, alongside the International Male and Under Gear catalogs.

    The whole family on both sides know that Uncle Charles’ and Uncle Randy’s house is NC-17 and off-limits to children and anyone potentially offended. My folks don’t care; I have gifted them with porn DVDs on many occasions.

  • Charles_Barrett – Now with Variable-Valve Timing

    @Charles_Barrett: living = living room

  • Come a little Miroslav Klose You’re My Kind of Man

    @Lux Nightmare: Amazing.

    To my own porn/sex-toy stashing, I used to keep my collection of magazines — catalogs, really; there was no literary content — in my underwear drawer. After getting out of college, though, I began keeping it out, but under cover of towels/other linens, in a closet.

    The latest Playboy is put out on the night-stand, though.

  • GayhawkAZ

    I guess I have no shame — I’ve got porn DVDs and a couple of tapes on top of my combo DVD/VHS player, plenty of porn on my computer and then there’s the gigantic Rubbermaid tub that serves as one of my end tables by my bed…plenty of tapes and magazines in there.

    I’ve had my landlord show off my apartment and the maintenance staff are in there whenever I need something repaired — nobody’s ever complained. ;)